There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
