Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
