I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
