Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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