come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Did I show you my penis last night?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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