Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
