we have officially lost it.
i think my tv is drunk
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
