I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
