Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
