I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
