Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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