I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
