i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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