grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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