talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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