If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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