I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
