i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
