yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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