i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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