if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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