he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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