I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Bring me that man meat
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
