We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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