I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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