Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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