my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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