community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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