Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
