oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
