Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
