We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
