Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
