please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
