She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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