i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
