we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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