You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
