Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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