I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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