i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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