It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
