I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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