Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
