i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
