Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
