I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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