Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
