If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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