he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
