I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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