what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
