bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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