I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Bring me that man meat
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
